


Call & Response

by eufoeria



Series: at the end of everything [2]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, First Time, M/M, side myungjong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7583638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eufoeria/pseuds/eufoeria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hit him all at once. There were moments in life that felt like a photograph, Woohyun thought. He could hear the shutter click and knew that this instant would be preserved in time, etched in his brain for as long as he lived. Even if his eyes one day clouded over with cataracts, or he forgot his own name, this would stay with him. This. And when he died, it would become a part of the earth, and the grass and the trees would also come know what he realized in that moment.</p><p>“I love you,” he breathed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. [1/2]

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place 6 months after part 1. Big warning for Angst. It's nothing as serious as character death or illness but you can't say I didn't warn you when I post chapter 2 ^^ I'm going by the Korean school calendar, so the school year starts in early March and goes through mid-February.

“Sungjong-ah, we're going to be late! Hurry up!”

Sunggyu tapped his foot impatiently as he watched Sungjong stumble out the door, tie half-undone. He held him still by the shoulders and moved to straighten it. Once he was satisfied, they waved goodbye to Sungjong’s little brothers and headed for school.

“If you’re going to be late every day this year, I’m going to start leaving without you,” Sunggyu said as he watched him attempt to smooth down a flyaway piece of hair.

Sungjong stuck his tongue out at him. “If you’re going to be such a nag, I’ll let you leave without me.”

“Yah, what did you call me?” Sunggyu pulled Sungjong into a headlock and began to muss up his hair until he cried mercy.

“Aw, hyung, it took me twenty minutes to get it smoothed out,” Sungjong whined, trying to brush it out with this fingers.

Sunggyu snorted. “Stop trying so hard to look cool on your first day of high school.”

Sungjong pouted the rest of the way to the school gates. They bid each other goodbye when they arrived and went to their respective classrooms. Sunggyu climbed the stairs to the third floor. The atmosphere was markedly different, more subdued as students were preparing for college entrance exams.

Sunggyu smiled as he entered the classroom. Woohyun was already there, his nose stuck in a book of practice problems. Hoya and Dongwoo sat to his right, hunched over Hoya’s phone watching some video. He didn’t look up until Sunggyu dropped into the seat in front of him.

“Oh, you’re here,” Woohyun mumbled, eyes darting up to meet Sunggyu’s before returning to the page in front of him.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes. He turned to Dongwoo and asked, “What are the odds that he’ll look up before lunch?”

“Not good,” Hoya said, taking out an earbud, “I’ve been trying to get more than three words out of him all morning.”

“At least he’s studying” Sunggyu muttered, pulling out his own practice book. He figured he might as well get some studying in if Woohyun wasn’t going to pay any attention to him anyway.

Shortly after, the homeroom teacher walked in and began roll call. Sunggyu put his book away and sighed, hoping that lunch would come quickly, though he knew even when it did it would just be spent studying.

After the final bell rang, Sunggyu made a dash for the tool shed behind the school building, long since converted into a practice room for his band--former band.

After waiting in silence for a few moments, he jumped as Woohyun quietly entered the room, locking the door behind himself. Woohyun turned to him and asked, “You’re sure they won’t come in today?”

“Yeah, today’s only for recruiting,” Sunggyu replied, stepping forward to pull Woohyun into a brief kiss. He led Woohyun to the couch where they sat down together. Sunggyu sprawled across it lazily, his feet in Woohyun’s lap. “We can’t keep meeting here. It’s too depressing.”

Woohyun hummed in agreement, absentmindedly stroking Sunggyu’s leg. “You know it can’t be helped, Gyu. It’s for your future.”

“I know that,” Sunggyu growled, turning onto his side, not looking at Woohyun. “It’s just,” he mumbled, “music is my future.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Woohyun said quietly. “If you kept going, your mom would’ve killed you. Not to mention how much your scores would suffer.”

“I hate this,” Sunggyu whispered. Woohyun reached over to stroke Sunggyu’s side reassuringly.

“It’s only for,” Woohyun held up his fingers to count, “eight more months.” Sunggyu groaned loudly. Woohyun smiled gently down at him. “Are you going to be like this the whole time? We only have half an hour until I have to leave.”

Sunggyu broke into a slight smile and pushed himself up. He scooted over on the couch until his shoulder touched Woohyun’s and turned to face him. “What should we do instead?”

“I don’t know,” Woohyun said quietly, leaning his face in close enough for their noses to brush. “What do we have time for?”

Sunggyu closed the distance between them and kissed him, hard. They had long since progressed past their innocent first kiss by the beach that warm August evening. It had been six months since they had started going out, keeping it quiet, of course, from their friends and family. It didn’t bother them; it still held the excitement of having a secret, one that only the two of them shared.

They still felt the freshness, the newness of it all. They would progress as far the other would allow, and so far that had meant hurried handjobs in Woohyun’s room before his parents came home. They were working on it.

“Mmf, Woohyun,” Sunggyu said, pushing him away from where he had begun to kiss his neck, “I told you no marks.”

“You said none that people can see,” Woohyun replied lowly, “so let me take off your shirt and--”

Sunggyu swatted his hand away. “It’s too cold in here.”

“I’ll warm you up--”

“Ugh. You know I hate those gross lines.” Sunggyu kicked him away and stood to straighten his tie. “I’m not doing anything on this disgusting couch.”

Woohyun pouted. “You love my lines.”

“The me in your dreams, maybe,” Sunggyu replied, pulling on his blazer and scarf.

“The you in my dreams loves other parts of me more--”

He grunted as Sunggyu threw his scarf as hard as he could into Woohyun’s face. Cheeks blazing red, Sunggyu shrugged his bag onto his shoulder and snatched the scarf back. “I hate you.”

“You love me,” Woohyun grinned. Sunggyu rolled his eyes and headed for the door.

“You better leave before you’re late to cram school. See you tomorrow, Hyun,” Sunggyu said before shutting the door behind him.

Even though Woohyun could see his breath in that cold, bare room, his chest still felt warm

Their days continued like this. They studied, for the most part, and visited their old bandmates when they could. In the end, Myungsoo and Sungyeol had only been able to recruit Sungjong, and they had to adjust their songs accordingly. In the afternoons Woohyun went to the expensive prep school his parents had enrolled him in and Sunggyu went to the library. They spent the weekends at Woohyun’s house, which had been made even quieter by his mother’s absence. She was renting an apartment in Busan with her new boyfriend, last Woohyun heard.

It was late one evening, nearly midnight, and Sunggyu was walking Sungjong home from cram school. They were halfway home when Sungjong said, “Hyung, I want to tell you something.”

The world was quiet, half asleep and cold. The days had been growing slowly warmer, but the nights were still frigid. A breeze blew by that made them wrap their mufflers more tightly around themselves. Sunggyu stopped walking and stood still, waiting for him to speak.

“Hyung, I--” Sungjong swallowed dryly, then laughed nervously. “God, I don’t know why I’m scared to tell you this. I like… Myungsoo-hyung.”

Sunggyu’s brows shot up. “That makes sense.”

“Shut up,” Sungjong replied, cheeks tinged with pink.

“Why are you telling me?”

Sungjong looked down and kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. “I don’t know. I just wanted to tell someone. Since I can’t tell Myungsoo-hyung.”

Sunggyu hummed in sympathy. He threw an arm around Sungjong’s shoulders as they resumed their walk home.

“You’re so lucky,” Sungjong said quietly, “You know that right?”

“Don’t give up so quick, Jjongie,” Sunggyu replied, “You’re too young to be this cynical.”

Sungjong laughed quietly. “You’re right. Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe.”

Maybe, Sunggyu thought. There were many possibilities held within a “maybe,” and not all of them precluded the possibility of a happy ending. Sometimes “maybe” would just have to be enough.

They continued their walk back to their shared apartment complex in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

It was a Saturday afternoon in Woohyun’s bedroom when Woohyun said, “We should stop meeting on the weekends.”

“What?” Sunggyu opened his eyes and looked at Woohyun, who was no more than two centimeters from his own face. Sunggyu was pinned beneath him, studies long since forgotten.

“You heard me,” Woohyun groaned, collapsing on top of him and nuzzling his face into the crook of Sunggyu’s neck. “We hardly get any actual work done. You’re too distracting.”

Sunggyu smiled. “You’re heavy. Get off,” he said, pushing Woohyun away until he rolled onto his back. “So it’s my fault we always end up like this?”

“Yeah,” Woohyun huffed. He turned his head to consider Sunggyu’s profile. “Maybe you should try growing out a mustache. Or I could draw on your face.”

Sunggyu laughed and pushed himself up. He looked down at where Woohyun was still looking at him, eyes appraising. “Why should I have to change my face? You should change your attitude so you’ll stop jumping me at every opportunity.”

“I can’t,” Woohyun whined, throwing an arm over his face, “People don’t change that easy.”

“Oh, so we’re pretending to be deep?” Sunggyu smiled and climbed on top of Woohyun, straddling his abdomen and pressing a hand to his chest. “In that case, you have to want to change.”

Woohyun hummed thoughtfully before pushing himself up and grabbing the hand. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the palm. “I don’t want to stop wanting you.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.” Sunggyu grimaced and stood, walking away and collapsing onto Woohyun’s bed. He closed his eyes.

He felt the bed dip as Woohyun laid down next to him. Woohyun sighed and said, “One day you’re going to admit that you love my lines.”

Sunggyu shook his head and smiled. “Not even if I’m dying, Nam Woohyun.” After a moment passed, he said, “We should keep studying.”

“We should,” Woohyun agreed, unmoving. After a while Sunggyu pushed himself back up.

“No use in putting it off,” he said, sitting back down at the small table where books and pencils were strewn about in disarray.

It wasn’t more than an hour before they were on the floor again, getting lost in each other’s sighs.

March passed quietly into April. The days began to warm, and it only made being shut inside studying more depressing. They longed for November to come, for their exam to pass by and leave them free to pursue their days however they please, preferably together, wrapped in each other’s arms.

They were eating lunch together with Hoya and Dongwoo one day when Dongwoo asked, “What are you doing for your birthday, Sunggyu?”

Sunggyu chewed slowly as he thought. “I don’t really have any plans. I’ll probably watch a movie with Sungjong or something.”

“Nothing with your family?” Hoya asked. Sunggyu shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he noticed Woohyun watching him.

“My mom will probably be working, and my sister’s busy with exams.” He tried to shrug nonchalantly, but Woohyun continued to burn a hole in his head with his intense gaze. “My mom would want me to study anyway. She’s been such a hardass lately.”

“Your mom sounds scary,” Dongwoo laughed. “My parents just want me to graduate and take over the store.”

Woohyun and Sunggyu both stayed uncomfortably quiet, lost in their own thoughts, until Hoya pulled out his phone to show them some video he had talked about before class had started.

They were walking down a quiet street on the way to Woohyun’s cram school when Woohyun said, “I want to take you somewhere for your birthday.”

Sunggyu hummed thoughtfully. “Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Sunggyu furrowed his brows and stopped walking. “How far away is it?”

“Far enough,” Woohyun replied, hesitantly meeting Sunggyu’s eyes, “I’ll skip cram school that Friday and we can go somewhere nice.”

“I told you I don’t want you spending money on me,” Sunggyu said, frowning.

“But I want to,” Woohyun whined. He pouted, but Sunggyu’s face remained impassive. He huffed and said, “You won’t let me buy you a gift, so let’s at least spend the afternoon together.”

“We can spend the afternoon  _ here _ for free,” Sunggyu pointed out, brows raised.

Woohyun groaned. “But that’s not romantic! Please, Gyu!”

Sunggyu pursed his lips. “Are you sure it’s okay for you to skip cram school?”

“One day off won’t kill me.”

He stared at Woohyun a moment longer before sighing in defeat. “Fine! But it better not be anything ridiculous like some fancy restaurant.”

Woohyun laughed and threw his arms around Sunggyu, pulling him into a tight hug. Sunggyu smiled and wriggled free of his grip. He shoved Woohyun off the sidewalk, ears tinged with red.

The day of Sunggyu’s birthday was pleasantly warm. There was a tangible feeling of relief in the air when the students could finally switch out of their stifling winter uniforms. The afternoon sun was strong, hinting at warmer days to come, but for now it simply lifted people’s spirits in the way only spring can.

They walked together after school to the train station. Sunggyu was irritated that Woohyun still wouldn’t tell him where they were going, but Woohyun was annoyingly tight-lipped for once. Woohyun wouldn’t even let Sunggyu see the tickets, holding them out of his range of sight as they boarded the train.

“I can’t believe you,” Sunggyu huffed as he dropped into his seat, “This is practically kidnapping.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Woohyun replied. “You were nodding off in math earlier. Just go to sleep and I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Sunggyu scoffed, but shifted in his seat to get comfortable. He’d been up all night studying, ironically, math formulas and practice problems. “I can’t believe you’re saying this to me on my birthday.”

Woohyun smiled at his slight pout. “I’m so heartless, aren’t I? I’m even forcing you to go somewhere against your will.”

“Yeah, you are,” Sunggyu yawned sleepily. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep to the rhythm of the train car as it sped along the tracks. Woohyun pulled him closer, so that his head was resting on his shoulder.

It took two hours by train, and by the time they arrived the sun was already beginning to set. As they made their way to exit the station, Sunggyu began to get the feeling that the interior was vaguely familiar. When they stepped outside, his suspicions were confirmed.

Sunggyu breathed in the salty air. “Seriously, Hyun?”

Woohyun burst into laughter and began to pull him down the familiar street. It was the same seaside town where they had written their first song and had their first kiss. Sunggyu sometimes wondered if there was a limit to how stupidly romantic Woohyun could be.

It was far too cold to swim, so they grabbed something to eat from a food stand and sat together at that familiar fishing pier, watching the sun’s final rays dye the ocean gold. They sat and they laughed and they talked about nothing in particular, just enjoyed each other’s company on a rare day when they had nowhere to be and nothing else to do.

As it grew dark, the amusement park perched on the large, steel pier down the boardwalk began to light up. Woohyun watched as Sunggyu’s face softened at the array of colored lights and suddenly stood up.

“Time for our real destination,” he said, pulling Sunggyu gently to stand.

Sunggyu smiled. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“That,” Woohyun said, pointing to the ferris wheel as it slowly spun. He felt Sunggyu stiffen next to him.

“You can’t be serious.” Before Sunggyu could back away, Woohyun grabbed him by the wrist and began to pull him towards the park.

Sunggyu stood beside him, silent and pale as he bought the tickets. When they reached the line to board, he began to complain.

“It’s dangerous,” he whined, “I don’t want to die on my birthday.”

Woohyun laughed and rolled his eyes. “It’s completely harmless, Gyu.”

He had to tug slightly on Sunggyu’s arm to get him to actually enter the cramped cabin that would take them to the top. Woohyun watched as Sunggyu sat, hands balled into fists, while he tried to look anywhere but out the window where he could see how high up they were.

“Relax,” Woohyun said, carefully standing to sit next to him.

Sunggyu paled. “Don’t move!”

Woohyun laughed and ignored him, squeezing into the seat that was really only meant for one. He slipped his arm around Sunggyu’s waist and pointed out the window. “That’s the train station we used to come here.”

“I don’t care,” Sunggyu said, squeezing his eyes shut. His eyelids fluttered open as he felt Woohyun’s arm tighten around his waist.

“Then look at me,” Woohyun said, turning to look at him. In the darkness of the car, Sunggyu could only make out the outline of his face. “I know you’re scared, but I’m fulfilling a promise we made.”

“What promise?”

“I told you I’d bring you back and make you ride it, remember?” He smiled as realization slowly dawned on Sunggyu’s features.

Sunggyu pushed his shoulder lightly. “That’s so cheesy. I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Sunggyu was quiet for a moment, silently considering the way the carnival lights gave Woohyun’s face an inhuman glow. His voice was so low that Woohyun failed to catch it when he whispered, “Yeah, I do.”

At that moment, the car stopped at the top of the wheel. Before Sunggyu could panic, Woohyun placed a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. As the wheel started turning again, he pulled away and said, “Happy birthday, Gyu.”

When their car finally reached the ground, Sunggyu got off with shaky legs. Woohyun drew an arm around his waist to support him until Sunggyu shoved him off. “I can stand on my own, asshole.”

“Just making sure you’re alright,” Woohyun teased. His eyes glinted when he saw their next destination. “Look, Gyu! Your favorite ride!”

Sunggyu followed where is finger was pointing to the merry-go-round surrounded by throngs of children. He rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha, you’re a regular comedian.”

Woohyun grinned mischievously and pulled him towards it. They quickly boarded and Woohyun pulled him to a set of white horses that sat side by side. Sunggyu frowned. “I don’t think someone our age is supposed to sit on these.”

“Stop being so negative,” Woohyun laughed. He put his hands on Sunggyu’s waist as if to help him on to his steed, until Sunggyu pushed him away.

“Fine! Just stay over there on your horse and I’ll stay on mine.”

Woohyun could see the hidden smile on Sunggyu’s lips as he climbed on the plastic horse. “As you wish.”

They took their time enjoying the rest of the park, alternatively wasting money on totally rigged games and riding some of the gentler rides that didn’t involve heights or speed or any of the other dangerous things that had once made Sunggyu dread amusement parks. He thought he might have come to like them now.

It was late when they boarded the return train back to their small town. Before Sunggyu could text his mother when he would arrive home, Woohyun stopped him.

“Actually, um,” Woohyun flushed. “Do you want to spend the night at my place?” Sunggyu opened his mouth to object, but Woohyun was faster. “Dad’s out on a date with some girl, so he won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon.”

Sunggyu swallowed dryly. He knew what that kind of invitation meant. He hesitated, before nodding slightly. Both of their cheeks were tinged with pink the whole ride back.

He could feel the sweat on Woohyun’s palm as they held hands walking home. Sunggyu felt that familiar tingling inside himself, one that spoke of possibilities and chances to be taken, and one that he had only discovered while Woohyun was by his side.

Sunggyu heard the familiar click of the door lock before being pushed against a wall, Woohyun’s lips on his lips, his hands in his hair. He thought, this was right. He wanted this. He wanted Woohyun’s hands, his breaths, his everything, and Woohyun wanted all of him.

“Room,” Sunggyu mumbled between kisses. “Your room.”

Woohyun nodded jerkily and they bolted for the stairs to his bedroom. When they got there, Woohyun’s hands were on Sunggyu’s waist again, pushing him back until they both collapsed on the bed.

The sheets were soft, unlike the scratchy ones in Sunggyu’s room. He let his fingers glide over the smooth fabric as he lost himself in their kiss. He stopped when Woohyun grabbed his hand to hold it. Woohyun pulled away and asked, “Are you… is this okay?”

Sunggyu gulped. He nodded and said, “Yes, I--I want to.”

Woohyun leaned down to kiss him again, softly and slowly. It was a tender gesture, one that only happened in moments like these, where two awkward hearts connected. Sunggyu cupped Woohyun’s face in his hands and drew him in closer.

“How far do you want to go?” Woohyun murmured, his breath tickling Sunggyu’s lips.

Sunggyu’s tongue darted out to lick his lips before he said, “I want you. All of you, everything.”

Woohyun’s fingers traveled along the inside of his thighs, causing Sunggyu to shiver in silent, if not awkward, pleasure. His lips traveled to Sunggyu’s neck, and he relished all the soft sighs Sunggyu couldn’t keep inside, wouldn’t, if only for the night.

Woohyun thought back to their first kiss, when his heart had almost given out in the anticipation of it. He thought about them now, as he pinned Sunggyu to the mattress, his hand moving to grip his waist. He pulled away from Sunggyu’s neck as he hovered over him and stared at him in the dark.

It hit him all at once. There were moments in life that felt like a photograph, Woohyun thought. He could hear the shutter click and knew that this instant would be preserved in time, etched in his brain for as long as he lived. Even if his eyes one day clouded over with cataracts, or he forgot his own name, this would stay with him. This. And when he died, it would become a part of the earth, and the grass and the trees would also come know what he realized in that moment.

“I love you,” he breathed. He could see the white of Sunggyu’s teeth as he smiled.

“I love you too, Hyun.”

That was all the encouragement he needed to kiss Sunggyu again, more hungry than innocent. He could feel Sunggyu smile in victory as he emitted a soft gasp when Sunggyu ran fingers up and down his torso.

“We should probably take our clothes off,” Woohyun whispered against his lips. Sunggyu laughed breathlessly and pushed him off.

“Oh, God, we’re still in our uniforms,” Sunggyu said, hurrying to undo his tie. Woohyun helped him when he began to fumble with his buttons. When his shirt was finally gone, Woohyun couldn’t help but think, this is what he had been born for. To be there, at that moment in time, and to have his hand reach out and hold Sunggyu’s face, rubbing his thumb gently over his cheek.

“Woohyun?”

He was pulled from his thoughts by an insistent tug at his shirt. He savored the way Sunggyu’s features lit up with that familiar confidence as he said, “It’s your turn.”

Sunggyu began to unbuckle his belt, and did away with the  trousers that had long since grown uncomfortable. He flushed when Woohyun’s breath died in his throat as he looked up to see Sunggyu in nothing but his underwear. It filled him with a burning pleasure to know that Sunggyu wanted this--wanted him--as much as he wanted Sunggyu.

“Um, where’s the--do you have, you know, supplies?”

Woohyun nodded, his fingers slowly returning to their task of doing away with his shirt. “They’re in the drawer of the bedside table. I kept them there--just in case.”

Sunggyu stood to look for them just to have something to do. He needed to keep his mind busy, his head clear, or he would torture himself to death over anxiety over what they were about to do. Oh, God. What were they about to do?

“Um, we never really talked about this,” Sunggyu said, returning to sit on the side of the bed, bottle of lube and a condom wrapper in his hand. He nervously played with the condom wrapper with his fingers. He had only ever seen them in raunchy American movies his mother hadn’t wanted him to watch. “How do you--how should we do this?”

Woohyun seemed caught off guard by the question. “How do you want to do it?”

Sunggyu reddened at the suggestion. He had thought about it before, of course, but it had taken some time for him to work up the courage to look up the particulars on Naver. “I--I want you to be on top first.”

Woohyun’s brows shot up. “Are you sure?”

“Stop asking me that,” Sunggyu whined, shoving the condom and lube into Woohyun’s hands. “I can handle it.”

Sunggyu wondered what resolve had formed in Woohyun’s eyes, but he didn’t have time to think about it as he was pushed onto his back again. Woohyun had kicked off his pants and now hovered over him, between his parted legs.

Sunggyu shivered as Woohyun’s gaze moved along his body. He felt it under his skin, lighting his veins on fire. He had wondered what it would feel like, after, and if he would feel changed. He couldn’t tell yet, but he felt the stirrings of something in the deepest parts of his chest as he laid there, vulnerable and breathless.

“Have you ever…?” Woohyun’s voice wavered as he struggled for a way to ask that wouldn’t mortify them both.

“Oh my God, Woohyun, don’t ask me that. No, never,” Sunggyu said, flushing and covering his face with his arm in embarrassment. “Okay, maybe once or twice.”

Woohyun’s hand came to settle on his waist as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on Sunggyu’s hip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Sunggyu groaned and brought his leg up to kick Woohyun gently. “I’ll let you know if it hurts, so just hurry up!”

Woohyun leaned down to pry his arm away from his face and kiss him again, and made his way downward, kissing the skin of his neck, his chest, as he slowly made his way to his abdomen. The tips of his fingers slipped below the waistband of Sunggyu’s underwear, and he gently pulled them off.

He slicked up his fingers in lube and grabbed Sunggyu’s cock with his other hand to distract him from the discomfort. Woohyun pulled him into a sloppy kiss to divert his attention as he pushed a finger inside. Though it was him who bit down on Woohyun’s lip harshly, Sunggyu swore he could feel Woohyun flinch too at the sensation of it.

“Just breathe,” Woohyun said softly, moving to kiss Sunggyu’s neck. Sunggyu took in deep breaths as he tried to focus on Woohyun rather than the stinging ache. When Sunggyu’s gasps of discomfort slowly transformed into sighs of clumsy pleasure, Woohyun added another finger and the process began again.

It took a while, almost more than Woohyun could bear, but he would bear it for Sunggyu and for them. He took a shuddering breath when Sunggyu wrapped his arms around his neck and whispered, “I think… I’m okay now.”

He rolled the condom on and lathered a generous amount of lube onto his cock. He felt Sunggyu take in a jerky gasp as he lined himself up. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and he grabbed Sunggyu’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Just relax, Gyu.”

“You look more scared than I feel,” Sunggyu laughed nervously as he squeezed his hand back.

Woohyun smiled down at him. He took the time to savor the moment, the moment where Sunggyu became his and he became Sunggyu’s, the moment where they each gave a piece of themselves that the other would carry with them for the rest of their life. He pushed in.

Sunggyu hissed and squeezed his hand hard. Woohyun squeezed back and looked down at him in worry. “Are you okay? Do you--Should I--”

“I’m fine,” Sunggyu said between deep breaths, “Just give me a minute.”

Woohyun took the moment to lather more lube onto his cock before Sunggyu gave a jerky nod and he pushed in the rest of the way. Sunggyu smiled at the way Woohyun sighed in ecstasy.

As Woohyun found his rhythm, Sunggyu felt his chest grow tight at the thought that Woohyun wanted this. He had chosen Sunggyu to share this with, and though maybe one day they would have to part, and others would get to see Woohyun’s face like this, jaw slack and eyes clenched shut in pleasure, Sunggyu would always be his first. He would be the first to know that Woohyun babbled sweet nothings as he lost himself in someone else, the first to hold his hand as he came, and the first to feel his bruising grip on his waist.

Sunggyu knew by the way Woohyun clenched his hand that he was getting close. He dug his nails into Woohyun’s back as he sped up, his thrusts becoming forceful and erratic. Woohyun bit harshly into his shoulder, and Sunggyu could feel the way he shook from where his unoccupied hand was splayed on Woohyun’s back.

Woohyun groaned in pleasure and pressed sloppy, wet kisses into Sunggyu’s neck as he pulled out. Sunggyu could barely refrain from laughing at how disappointed he looked after as he said, “I’m sorry. You didn’t--That wasn’t good for you, was it?”

“It  _ was _ good, Hyun,” He sat up, smiling, and brushed the hair off of Woohyun’s forehead. They both scrunched up their faces as Woohyun tied the condom off and threw it in the waste bin.

Woohyun turned to look at him seriously, and it made Sunggyu shiver. “No, I’m going to take care of you.”

Sunggyu gasped as Woohyun grabbed his cock. He panicked when he saw Woohyun duck his head down and he realized what he was about to do. “Yah, Woohyun, you don’t have to--”

Whatever words he had planned to say died in his throat and became a guttural groan as Woohyun took his neglected cock into his mouth. It was Sunggyu’s turn to let his mind go blank with pleasure, and Woohyun’s to appreciate all the noises that slipped from his mouth.

Woohyun felt his chest grow warm at the way Sunggyu called his name when he was close. He only wished that he could see his face when he came, but that would come some other time. What he hadn’t planned for, however, was what he would do when Sunggyu actually did come.

With a final moan, Woohyun could taste the bitter fluid on his tongue. He wished he could say it was sexy, it was delicious, but his mind had entered fight or flight mode trying to find somewhere to spit it out.

He clambered off the bed to spit into the waste bin by his desk, coughing to get the last of it out of his mouth. Sunggyu began to laugh from where he still laid on the bed. It was a heavy laugh, the kind that made your body curl in on itself for fear the sheer joy of it might rip you apart. Woohyun began to laugh too.

After a moment, neither was really sure what exactly was so funny--maybe it was everything. Maybe it was them, being there, in that moment. Maybe they were laughing at nothing at all, but the reason didn’t really matter in the first place. Woohyun crawled back into bed and drew the covers over their naked bodies, their giggles dying down.

Neither could think of anything to say, but Woohyun appreciated the way Sunggyu’s eyes seemed to shine in the darkness, glowing with something akin to pride, or satisfaction. He wrapped an arm around Sunggyu’s stomach and nuzzled his head into Sunggyu’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Gyu.”

It had been so long since he had felt this way in that empty house, since he had last fallen asleep with a smile on his face and warmth in his chest. Sunggyu warmed the whole room with his presence, and he was quickly becoming a uniquely precious existence to Woohyun. The only times he felt truly happy anymore were the times he spent with Sunggyu.

He slept more soundly than he had in a long time.

When morning came, Woohyun awoke first, still wrapped in the warmth of Sunggyu’s arms. Sunggyu was usually the early riser, but Woohyun guessed he was more tired from last night than he had thought. Sunggyu’s nose was buried in the hair on the top of his head. Woohyun unconsciously hugged the arm around Sunggyu’s stomach tighter, and felt Sunggyu shift underneath him.

“Mm. G’morning,” Woohyun mumbled as Sunggyu stretched and yawned.

He was pulled closer as Sunggyu wrapped his arm around Woohyun’s shoulders. Sunggyu mumbled something unintelligible, still asleep, and Woohyun smiled. He gently pried himself from Sunggyu’s grip and quietly got out of bed. He dressed, then went downstairs to begin breakfast.

He felt Sunggyu’s arms slide around his waist from behind as he stirred the ingredients in the pan with his chopsticks. “Go sit. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Smells good,” Sunggyu said, his voice still raspy with sleep. He pressed a kiss to the back of Woohyun’s neck and made his way to the kitchen table. Woohyun swallowed dryly when he saw Sunggyu, dressed in one of his old, stretched-out t-shirts, sitting at the table with his head resting sleepily in his hand. He finished plating the food and set the dishes out on the table.

If Sunggyu was afraid that it would feel awkward after, or that they would be forever changed in some way, there was no reason to be. They talked over breakfast like normal, and Sunggyu flicked soap suds into Woohyun’s face as they washed dishes, like normal.

When it became mid-morning, Woohyun said, “My dad will be getting back soon. You better go.”

Sunggyu nodded in agreement, but felt a lingering sense of disappointment. He realized he wanted to be like this with Woohyun, always. As he put on some of Woohyun’s old clothes to wear back to his apartment, he smiled because it gave him a reason to come over again.

After checking to see that his neighbors weren’t around, Woohyun leaned in to kiss Sunggyu goodbye. He watched him depart until he turned the corner and could no longer be seen.

April passed into May, and Sunggyu’s sister graduated. The ceremony was touching, but the fact that she moved back home and Sunggyu no longer had the bedroom to himself was not so great. He supposed it didn’t matter as much as he thought, since she was rarely home anyway.

Truth be told, the main reason Sunggyu was annoyed at her return was because it meant that his mother could afford the cram school tuition again, which in turn meant that he had to start attending again.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Sungjong exclaimed the first day Sunggyu showed up in the cramped classroom after school.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes as he dropped his bag. “Yeah, yeah, great to be back.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t say that, hyung,” Sungjong said, “You’re going to be here a lot so you can score well on your exam, so you might as well get used to it!”

Sunggyu bit his lip and his grip on his pen tightened ever so slightly. He stared hard at the blank note paper in front of him. “Yeah, the exam.”

A sick feeling began to form in the pit of his stomach as he thought about it. A single, stupid exam that was supposed to decide the rest of his future. He’d take it, get a decent score, then he would go to college, graduate, and get a good, respectable job. If that was what he was supposed to do, then why did it feel so wrong?

“Yah, you’re going to burn a hole in the paper if you stare at it that hard.” Sungjong smirked, but began to worry at the despairing look on Sunggyu’s face. “H-hey, look on the bright side! Once you take the exam, you just have to pick a university! You’re almost done!”

Sunggyu smiled sadly at Sungjong and sighed, turning back to face the front. “Thanks, Jjongie. The stress is getting to me I guess.”

Sunggyu wished he could be happy to be back, but he wasn’t.

He wished the sick feeling would go away, but it didn’t.

Though his sister had moved back in with them, he rarely saw her until one evening when she brought over a guest. His mother would be home late, so Sunggyu had decided to start dinner despite his meager cooking skills. He was trying out a recipe Woohyun had taught him the other weekend. They kept remaking it until Sunggyu had made it right, so he figured he probably couldn’t fuck it up by himself.

He heard his sister call out as she entered the apartment. “Gyu? Are you cooking?”

He grunted in affirmation, but froze when he heard a male voice as well. Sunggyu heard a pair of footsteps enter the main living area.

He turned around and carefully evaluated the stranger standing in the living room with narrowed eyes. “Who’s this?”

“Be nice, Gyu,” his sister said, walking over to the kitchen to pinch his ear, “This is the guy I’ve been seeing.”

“You’ve been seeing someone?” Sunggyu asked, rubbing his sore ear.

His sister laughed and mussed up his hair. “I forgot you’ve been busy studying. We’ve been dating for a couple weeks.”

“Oh,” Sunggyu said. He watched her return to his side as he slipped an arm around her waist. They settled down on the couch, and Sunggyu tried to contain his discomfort as they undressed each other with their eyes while he cooked dinner.

His mother arrived just as he was finishing. Sunggyu wondered when she had gotten to know his sister’s boyfriend. He racked his head for any mention of him, but came up blank. He had been spending all his spare time at Woohyun’s house though, so perhaps it made sense. Still, it was unsettling.

As they all sat down to dinner, he poked absentmindedly at his food as his sister explained how they had met in university. Sunggyu was really sick of hearing about university.

“He studied business,” his sister practically preened, “he wants to open his own business one day.”

Her boyfriend smiled confidently. “I’ve wanted to run my own shop since I was a kid. I practically killed myself studying to get into a place with a good business school.”

“Oh, good for you!” Sunggyu’s mother exclaimed, reaching over to pat his hand gently.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, “I’m sure Sunggyu knows the feeling though, right?”

Sunggyu froze as all eyes turned to him. He spoke carefully, “Yeah, exams suck.”

“Do you have an idea of what school you’d like to go for?”

Sunggyu narrowed his eyes at the question. This guy really didn’t know when to quit, did he? He muttered, “a cheap one.”

The rest of the table laughed, and Sunggyu’s sister asked, “But do you at least know what you want to study?”

“Hadn’t thought about it,” Sunggyu said bitterly, picking at his food.

“That’s okay,” his sister replied, “You can figure it out when you get there.”

They eventually let the subject drop when it was clear they wouldn’t get much more from him. Why did they care anyway? Sunggyu chewed on his food, but found that he had lost his appetite. That familiar twisting in his gut had returned, so he excused himself from the table and hid himself away in his room.

He briefly considered calling Woohyun, but he was probably studying and didn’t need to hear Sunggyu complain about his non-problems. He was just being childish, not wanting to grow up, take responsibility for his life. He wanted… he didn’t know what he wanted. That was the problem.

He tried to picture himself, ten years in the future, but he couldn’t. It was like his entire life up until this point had lead to the day he would take his entrance exams, and everything that came after had been put on the backburner. Now he was faced with the realization that none of it made him happy. The thought of college didn’t make him happy.

Sunggyu sighed in frustration and decided to take the emergency exit to the rooftop of the apartment complex. The alarm was broken, had been for some time, but the deadbeat landlord couldn’t care less about fixing it, which was just fine with Sunggyu. It was the only place in the building where he could get some peace and quiet.

He sat down and leaned back against the barrier on the edge, then reached into the pocket of the jacket he had grabbed randomly. Inside, there was a half-finished pack of cigarettes and a lighter. His sister had probably borrowed his jacket to go outside for a smoke last night; it was still chilly when the wind blew after sunset.

His fingers carefully turned the carton over in his hand as he stared blankly at the packaging. He pulled a single cigarette from it. He lit it, then held it up to his lips. He coughed at first, but after a few tries he could take a drag without working himself into a fit.

Sunggyu let the smoke burn his lungs and warm his body, making him feel something other than the crushing weight of a reality he didn’t want but couldn’t reject. He was lost. The future he had envisioned in his mind and the one that had been laid out for him had become muddled, and neither could be seen clearly through the fog inside his head.

When the cigarette burned down to the filter, he snuffed it out on the ground next to him and slowly made his way back to his room.

With those thoughts in his mind, he decided to visit the old practice room one day after school. He waved Woohyun off, told him to go ahead without him, and sat himself down on the ratty couch as the “members” arrived.

It could hardly be called a club, really. What club only has three members? Still, they had their second-hand instruments and beat up sound equipment and that was all that really mattered.

“What are you doing here today?” Myungsoo asked in surprise as he entered the room with Sungyeol. Sungjong tagged along closely behind them.

Sunggyu grunted as Sungyeol face dived onto the cramped couch. “I wanted to drop by and see how you’re doing.”

“We’re doing great; don’t you worry! We’ll make you and Woohyun proud!” Sungyeol practically shouted, grinning at Sunggyu’s bemused smile.

“Speaking of which, where is he?” Sungjong asked. He ignored Sungyeol’s antics and began to take out his guitar.

“I told him I was visiting you guys and that he could go on ahead. I guess he doesn’t want to fall behind.”

“Aw, he’s no fun,” Sungyeol pouted. Sunggyu laughed uneasily. He didn’t mention his own apprehension at Woohyun’s refusal to come. He mostly didn’t want to admit that it had hurt him.

Instead, he said, “He’s busy, Yeol. You know how it is.”

“Speaking of which,” Sungjong said, “Shouldn’t you be at cram school?”

Sunggyu groaned. “I know, I just wanted to see you all. Let me have fun once in awhile.”

Myungsoo looked down at him with gentle smile and offered his hand. “It’s nice to see you again, hyung.”

Sunggyu grinned back at him, and Sungjong looked at Myungsoo softly. He took the hand that was offered and stood, dusting off his pants. “Alright, I guess I better go.”

“Good luck!” Sungyeol shouted.

Sunggyu winced at the volume, then ruffled Sungyeol’s hair. “Thanks, and keep it down a notch, will you?”

“It’s no use. I’ve told him a thousand times,” Myungsoo said, but there was no malice in his words.

Sunggyu bid them all goodbye, and left for cram school, but he couldn’t really say if the visit had made him any happier or any sadder. He felt a little of both just sitting on that old couch, watching his friends walk through the door. He missed it--he missed it more than anything else in the world, but seniors weren’t supposed to have distractions. They were supposed to study.

He walked to cram school a little slower that day.

The pleasantly warm days of Spring became swelteringly hot. It made everyone sluggish, too tired to do anything except pray for summer break to come faster. Sunggyu saw less and less of Woohyun. They had mutually decided to spend more time apart since they couldn’t focus on studying together. He wondered if Woohyun found the separation just as painful as he did.

At last, his patience was rewarded when summer break came in mid-July.

It was a week into break, and Sunggyu had spent every day at Woohyun’s house. They clung to each other like a drowning man clings to a life preserver, each their own savior in this period of abrupt and intense change. Sunggyu was just happy to see that Woohyun had missed him too.

He was lying on Woohyun’s bed, fiddling with his phone as Woohyun stared dully at a stack of English flashcards. Woohyun sighed, and got up to lay beside Sunggyu on the bed.

“I’m going to fail,” Woohyun announced. Sunggyu put down his phone and frowned at him.

“You’re not going to fail,” Sunggyu said, picking his phone back up when it buzzed again.

Woohyun groaned and nuzzled his face into Sunggyu’s side. He threw an arm across Sunggyu’s stomach as he got comfortable. “Why do we even need to know English? I’m never going to use it again after this test.”

Sunggyu smiled. “You could say that about any of this stuff.”

Woohyun ignored him and pouted. “Tutor me, Gyu,” he whined, “none of it makes any sense.”

“I’m not good at English either.”

“And yet you score better than me on all the practice exams,” he grunted. When Sunggyu didn’t respond, he used the arm slung across his middle to rub circles on his stomach. Sunggyu looked down at him in poorly-concealed amusement.

“Really?”

Woohyun said nothing, but broke into a smile as he began to press kisses into his collarbone, his neck, while his hand slipped under Sunggyu’s shirt to rub up and down his stomach. Sunggyu laughed quietly before Woohyun caught his lips in a slow, languid kiss.

The kiss became more heated as Woohyun’s hands moved upward to stroke his nipples. Sunggyu’s eyes fluttered shut while Woohyun attacked his neck and chest. He moved his hand to stroke Woohyun’s hair, running fingers through it and tugging when something felt particularly good.

His eyes snapped open when his phone buzzed again. He fumbled on the bedside table for it, and unlocked it to read the message. Woohyun groaned and pulled away. “Who the hell are you messaging?”

Sunggyu flushed sheepishly, having been caught. “You know the lead singer for that group that placed first at battle of the bands last year? Yongguk?” Woohyun nodded, but truthfully he barely remembered anything from that night apart from their second place win, and Sunggyu kissing him on the rooftop afterwards. Sunggyu continued, “He is--was--a third year like us, but he dropped out to play with his band. I’ve been talking to him about music lately.”

Woohyun smiled. “You really miss them, huh?”

“Not just Myungsoo and Sungyeol,” Sunggyu sighed, “I miss playing. I miss singing. I try to practice before bed so I don’t get rusty, but I’m just too tired some nights.”

Woohyun listened to him quietly as he let his thumb run comforting circles on his stomach. “I’m sorry. It’s just for a little while longer though.”

“Yeah,” Sunggyu said bitterly, “Until I go to college and I’m too busy with classes to play, or until I get a job after that and I have to work overtime.”

Woohyun frowned and sat up to get a better look at his face. Sunggyu had seemed a bit short-tempered recently, but he had mostly written it off as stress. He wasn’t entirely convinced now. “It’s not the end of the world, Gyu.”

“I know it isn’t, I just--” Sunggyu stopped himself when he realized he had snapped. He sighed and pressed his palms into his eyes. “Sorry. I’m just stressed. You know how my mom gets…”

“It’s okay,” Woohyun replied, still slightly perturbed. He wasn’t exactly satisfied with his response, but he would let it drop for now. “You can talk to me about it, you know?”

Sunggyu rubbed his eyes and stared impassively at some point past Woohyun’s head. “I know. Thanks, Hyun.”

They went back to cuddling since the mood had been ruined, and began to quiz each other on history topics until they both began to doze off. When they awoke it was nearly dinner time. Woohyun offered to let Sunggyu stay the night, but he declined.

“I won’t be able to come by tomorrow,” Sunggyu said as he threw his books in his bag.

Woohyun furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“I’m meeting someone,” he said. “Yongguk.”

Woohyun pursed his lips and said nothing. “Oh. Have fun then.”

Sunggyu nodded and waved goodbye as he set off. Woohyun watched him from his front steps until he turned the corner and was out of sight.

The next day he thought about Sunggyu, and if he was alright, but Sunggyu never texted him, so Woohyun didn’t ask.

The evening Sunggyu got home from Yongguk’s it was already very late. It had been fun, more fun than he could recall having in months. They spent most of the day playing music or talking about family, about the future. They had already made plans to meet again next week.

Sunggyu had never met anyone his age who hadn’t decided to go to college. It wasn’t really a choice; it was a necessity, but Yongguk didn’t seem to care how others saw him, and Sunggyu appreciated that. It wasn’t like he was carefree or lazy; he had simply decided that the universe didn’t have a prestigious university education in store for him.

The smile on Sunggyu’s face fell as he walked through the front door to see his mother and sister sitting at the dining room table. The atmosphere was tense, and Sunggyu approached them slowly, unsure if they had even heard him come in.

“Sunggyu,” his mother said, pushing herself to stand, “You’re home late. I suppose it’s okay since it’s break, but it’s not safe to walk around so late.”

“Sorry, mom, I lost track of the time,” Sunggyu said, hesitantly making his way towards the table. He barely caught a glimpse of the papers on the table before his mother and sister realized what he was looking at and scrambled to shove them back into the worn manilla folder. “Mom, is that--”

“Don’t worry about it, Gyu,” his sister said, glaring at him. “It’s not your problem.”

His mother took a step toward him and rested her hands on his shoulders. “Just go to bed, baby.”

“Fine,” Sunggyu muttered through gritted teeth. If they wanted to pretend like nothing was wrong, he could play along. But he knew better. He knew what the numbers on those stacks of papers meant.

He had known his sister took out loans to pay for school, but he hadn’t exactly known how much. All that money for--for what? She was back in the same small town, in the same cramped apartment, working long days at an office just to stay alive.

Sunggyu realized then why his mother had been pushing him so hard. He didn’t just need grades good enough to get into top schools, he needed scholarships for those schools. He couldn’t--he wouldn’t--force her to continue to kill herself working to support him in a place he didn’t even want to be.

He cursed when he noticed his hands shaking. He grabbed the crumpled cigarette box he kept under his pillow and threw open his door. His mother and sister jumped, startled by his sudden reappearance.

His mother frowned. “Where are you going?”

“To get some air,” he muttered. Before she could protest, he had slammed the door behind him.

He found himself back on the rooftop of the building, his fingers fumbling several times with the lighter before it came on. Sunggyu took a deep drag of the cigarette, and as he exhaled he watched the smoke from his mouth drift upwards to obscure the starry sky above him.

He had told himself he wouldn’t be like them, that he wouldn’t do this again. He knew that it wasn’t good for his health, and he knew that it wasn’t worth it, but fuck did it feel good in the present moment. His shoulders slowly relaxed and his hands stopped shaking.

He--he would simply have to study harder. Get the score he needed to get a scholarship. It would mean seeing a lot less of Woohyun, and certainly no more music, but it would be worth it, right? If he didn’t get the grades to pay for school, then he would have no choice but to not go. Sunggyu wanted a choice.

He threw the cigarette butt to the ground and snuffed it out with his shoe. It seemed like his summer vacation was over.

He still met up with Woohyun, but even he had noticed a change in Sunggyu’s demeanor. When he tried to ask him about it, though, he was met with unnerving silence and a quiet, “Just starting to take this seriously.”

One day, in a moment of weakness and lapsed concentration, Woohyun had somehow convinced Sunggyu back into bed with him. They lay there for a moment, naked and sweating, before Sunggyu sat back up. Woohyun watched him curiously as he rooted around in the pockets of his jeans that had been left crumpled on the floor.

He pursed his lips as Sunggyu pulled out the fresh cigarette pack. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t,” Sunggyu said, reaching into the other pocket for the lighter. Woohyun looked at him unimpressed. Sunggyu continued, “You’re implying that it’s a habit, when it’s not.”

“So this is the first time?”

“No,” Sunggyu said defensively, “I only do it when I’m stressed.”

“We just fucked,” Woohyun said emphatically. “I feel boneless right now and you’re still stressed?”

Sunggyu walked back over to the bed and climbed on top of him. He pressed a languid kiss to Woohyun’s mouth. When he pulled away, he smirked and said, “Fine. I only do it when I’m stressed or when I’ve fucked.”

Woohyun rolled his eyes and pushed Sunggyu off of him. “Go out to the balcony if you’re going to do it then.”

“Thanks, Hyun.”

Sunggyu pulled on his jeans and made his way to the second floor balcony. It was located in the back of the house, and overlooked the garden in the back yard.  _ Absurd _ , he thought,  _ who the hell actually had a garden? _

After a minute he heard the door open behind him. Woohyun slipped outside and wrapped an arm around his still naked waist. Neither of them said anything, just leaned against the railing and watched the stars as Sunggyu blew wispy clouds of smoke.

When he was done, he snuffed the cigarette out on the railing. Sunggyu froze when he felt Woohyun’s hand move to the back of his neck. He turned to face him. Woohyun looked at him seriously, then pulled him in to kiss him, hard. It tasted bitter and warm. Something about it made Woohyun’s gut twist, but he didn’t know if it was in excitement or disgust.

“Spend the night with me?” Woohyun asked after they parted.

Sunggyu’s eyes softened. “Won’t your dad be here in the morning?”

“Please, Gyu?” Woohyun pouted. He pulled him in again to kiss him, and then again, and again, until Sunggyu burst out laughing and pushed him away.

“Fine, I’ll stay!” Sunggyu said, grunting in disgust as he wiped the saliva from his face. Woohyun grinned and grabbed his hand, leading him back to his room. Lately, Woohyun often felt like Sunggyu was somewhere very far away, even when he was laying beside him in bed. He missed that closeness, the feel of skin on skin, lips on lips, and of two hearts, beating in time to some music only they could hear.

He thought of his parents’ marriage and he felt afraid. Sunggyu might have sensed as much, which was why he chose to stay, but Woohyun wouldn’t put a voice to what he was feeling even if Sunggyu dared to ask.

Woohyun knew he was a romantic, someone who believed in true love and everlasting commitment. He knew Sunggyu wasn’t the same. He knew that. But he also knew that he could change that, if he tried hard enough, if he loved hard enough. Woohyun was afraid of a world he couldn’t control, so he did the only thing he knew how to do: he loved Sunggyu as much as he could so that he would never have to let go of the one constant in his life.

The words he traced on Sunggyu’s skin like a spell after he had fallen asleep were the words he’d cling to in an ocean of uncertainty.  _ I love you. _

School started back again, and the tension in the air had become even more palpable, if that was possible, with the addition of an underlying excitement. Two more months and they would all be free from the obligations that had stolen their final year of high school from them.

Only a few days after school had begun again, Sunggyu was headed to the bathroom when he saw Sungjong walking down the hallway with a stack of papers. Before he could call out, Myungsoo turned the corner and walked up behind him, lifting half the stack into his own arms. Sunggyu watched the exchange quietly.

“Thanks,” Sungjong said, breaking into a bright smile, “They were getting pretty heavy.”

Myungsoo grinned back at him. “Are you taking these to the office?”

“Yeah, Mr. Kim needs to grade these summer assignments by the end of the week,” Sungjong replied.

Sunggyu followed them quietly down the hallway. He briefly wondered if what he was doing was considered wrong, but shrugged off any considerations out of his own curiosity. When they reached the office, Myungsoo stopped to open the door for him. After a brief moment, they exited the office. Sungjong smiled at Myungsoo. “Thank you for helping me with that.”

“Anything for you,” Myungsoo said, gently ruffling the hair on top of Sungjong’s head before smoothing it back down. He turned away and walked back to his classroom. Sungjong still stood in front of the office, staring longingly at the back of his uniform.

“Boo,” Sunggyu said, startling Sungjong.

He punched Sunggyu’s shoulder and scowled. “You’re so not funny.”

“Actually, I’m a comedic genius,” Sunggyu replied, flicking him on the forehead, “you’re just too busy staring at Myungsoo to appreciate it.” Sungjong tried to walk away, angrily rubbing at his forehead, but Sunggyu stopped him. “I’m just playing, Jjongie. What was that exchange between you and Myungsoo all about?”

“It’s nothing,” Sungjong said. Sunggyu looked at him in concern as his face fell a bit. “He was just helping me carry stuff to the teacher’s office.”

Sunggyu took him by the arm and began to walk him back to his class. “You two seem to have gotten pretty friendly over summer break.”

“Well, you were always at Woohyun’s or studying, so I hung out with him instead.”

Sunggyu hummed thoughtfully. “Are you going to confess?”

Sungjong coughed in surprise and stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at Sunggyu in abject horror. “Of course not!”

Sunggyu sighed and grabbed his arm to continue walking. “So you’re just going to keep it a secret forever?”

“Yes.” Sunggyu scowled at him until he whined, “I just don’t want to make things weird. He’s busy enough with band and studying as it is.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way to Sungjong’s classroom. Sunggyu stopped him before he could go inside.

“I just want you to know,” Sunggyu said hesitantly, “I don’t think Myungsoo would hate you if you told him. He’s not capable of it.”

Sungjong looked at him sadly. “I know. That’s the problem.”

Sunggyu furrowed his brows, not quite sure what he meant, as Sungjong bid him goodbye and left him standing in the hallway.

Sunggyu began to see less of Woohyun again, and the times they were together made him half wish they were apart. They each tried to be considerate of the other, but it always seemed like someone was in a bad mood over something. It was exhausting.

They were studying together one Saturday evening. They had decided to time themselves for a practice test, to simulate the actual test and to see where their score might fall. After going through page after page of multiple choice question, they were finally tallying up their grades.

After a moment of quiet pencil scratches and clicks of the keyboard on his laptop Woohyun cursed and banged his fist on the table. “Fuck this exam!”

“Woohyun? What’s wrong?” Sunggyu asked. He reached out a hand to comfort him but Woohyun shook it off.

“ _ That _ is what’s wrong,” Woohyun growled, pointing at the computer screen. He had tallied up his scores, and the numbers were less than favorable. “How the fuck am I scoring  _ worse _ than I was a month ago?”

Sunggyu felt his throat constrict. “It’ll be okay, you just--”

“I know!” Woohyun shouted. When he saw Sunggyu flinch, he lowered his voice apologetically. “I know, I just--I can’t do this for another year.”

Sunggyu looked at him sadly for a moment before he went back to calculating his own score. He borrowed Woohyun’s laptop to plug the numbers in. When he saw the score, he tried to quietly close the tab, but Woohyun’s hand stopped him.

“What did you get?” Woohyun asked hungrily. 

Sunggyu rubbed his wrist nervously. “I did okay.”

Woohyun frowned. Before Sunggyu could protest, he pulled the laptop towards him to see. Sunggyu stared anxiously at the shock that registered in his face. “You… this is bullshit. How did you…”

Sunggyu scowled and pulled the laptop away from him. “It’s not that big of a deal. Let’s just--”

“Of course it’s not a big fucking deal,” Woohyun muttered, “It’s not like you even want to--”

He stopped when he noticed Sunggyu’s stricken expression. He tried to stammer out an apology, but Sunggyu simply asked, “It’s not like I want to  _ what _ , Woohyun?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“How am I supposed to know what you meant if you won’t tell me?” Sunggyu asked angrily, his voice rising.

“It didn’t mean anything,” Woohyun said quietly. They both sat there in silence for a moment, silently brooding over what the other had said, before Woohyun asked, “Do you even have a major picked out?”

“What?”

“Mine is business, if you care to know,” Woohyun continued, “It’s not like I would know if you did, since you haven’t asked me. So what’s your major?”

“I--I don’t--”

“Have you even thought about it?”

“I don’t know!” Sunggyu shouted. He felt his blood boil, and he wanted to take it out on something, anything, so he chose what was nearest to him. “I don’t fucking know! Is that such a bad thing?”

“The exam is in less than  _ two months _ , you--” Woohyun’s words stuck in his throat. He slowly relaxed his shoulders and looked down at his hands in guilt. “I’m sorry.”

Sunggyu bit his lip harshly and looked down too. “I know, okay?” Woohyun looked up at him. “I know that I need to figure this stuff out, just--just give me time. Please.”

“Of course,” Woohyun nodded. “I’m sorry. I--” he hesitated before he reached out and grabbed Sunggyu’s hand. “I love you.”

Sunggyu smiled tiredly at him. “I love you too.”

The atmosphere was still tense. Sunggyu tried to resume studying, but gave up after a while. He left early from Woohyun’s house, not mad, but weighed down with intense feelings of something he wasn’t quite able to name. Something that hurt.


	2. [2/2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I die, I’m haunting you forever,” Sunggyu muttered.
> 
> “Wow,” Woohyun sighed, collapsing to lay on his back on the grass, “You want to be with me forever? How romantic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna say this preemptively: I'm sorry.

November came quickly. The morning of the exam was like any other. Sunggyu got up, ate breakfast, and left with plenty of time to get to school. He had wondered for over a year what the day itself might be like. It was chilly, but otherwise disappointingly normal.

His mother had woken up early to pack his lunch, and his sister walked with him to the entrance of the school to wish him good luck. He worked through the test, section by section, and was almost disappointed at how numb he felt. Other students in his class broke down crying after one or two subjects that they knew they had failed.

At lunch break they compared answers to previous sections. Woohyun had enough nervous energy to power all of Seoul. He relaxed somewhat when Sunggyu put his hand on his knee underneath the desk and smiled gently.

When all was said and done, Sunggyu and Woohyun stood alone outside of the school gates. Everyone else had gone off with their families to celebrate, but their parents were both busy working. In the end, they decided to go to Woohyun’s house where he had stolen a few cans of his father’s beer.

“It doesn’t matter if he notices,” Woohyun said over the hiss of the can being opened, “Not that he will. But it doesn’t matter because it’s over. It’s finally all over.”

Sunggyu went into a coughing fit at the first taste, but grew somewhat accustomed to it after a few sips. He stretched out on the floor and smiled. “All that’s left now is to show up until graduation.”

Woohyun stared at him tenderly for a moment before setting his own can aside and climbing on top of him. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Sunggyu’s lips. “I missed you.”

“Me too,” Sunggyu replied, searching Woohyun’s face for all the details he hadn’t had the time to appreciate the past few months.

Woohyun leaned down to kiss him again. He licked the remaining beer foam from Sunggyu’s lips, slightly grimacing at the bitter taste. Sunggyu laughed at the sensation, and pulled Woohyun close to him, rolling them onto their sides.

His lips felt dry as he looked at Woohyun. He let the relief wash over him in waves, basking in the happiness that it had all ended. They could go back to how they were a year ago. They could play music again and fool around after school if they wanted.

And for once, after what felt like a very long time, Woohyun understood his feelings perfectly without saying a word.

They began to spend their time after school together again. It was like a dream, to be able to laugh with each other without the looming shadow of some great evil hovering over them. Woohyun caught himself up on all of the expressions of Sunggyu’s he had missed, and Sunggyu was more than happy to provide them.

It was like a dream, except for when it wasn’t. They spent their weekdays together, but their weekends were a somewhat different matter.

Sunggyu had begun to spend almost every one of them at the next town over with his friend in that rival band. Woohyun didn’t consider himself a controlling, jealous person, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit irritated when Sunggyu never shut up about him.

One afternoon, Sunggyu was chatting happily away about what he had done with Yongguk that past weekend. “It was so fun. I’ve never gotten to play with amps that nice, but he even let me practice with his band, and--”

“I get it already!” Woohyun snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He’s the coolest guy ever. I got it.”

Sunggyu smiled mischievously. “Oh? Are you jealous?”

“I’m not,” Woohyun mumbled, turning away. They were laying on his floor side-by-side, so he knew he couldn’t get away that easily.

Sunggyu grinned and shifted so that he spooned against Woohyun’s back. “Don’t worry. He’s not half as handsome.”

“Oh, so you only like me for my looks?” Woohyun’s lips curved into a smile involuntarily. “You’re so shallow.”

Sunggyu pulled him closer and kissed the back of his neck. “I like other parts of you too.”

“Really? Which ones?”

“Let’s see.” Sunggyu hummed thoughtfully. “I like here,” he said, pressing a palm flat against Woohyun’s abdomen. Months of relative inactivity hadn’t softened his muscles a bit. “Here too,” he continued as he groped at Woohyun’s chest.

Woohyun burst into laughter and struggled from his hold. “I get it, I get it!” He squirmed away and pinned Sunggyu to the floor, climbing on top of him. “You’re such a perv.”

Sunggyu’s eyes softened. He pressed his fingers to the left side of Woohyun’s chest. “I like here too.”

Woohyun smiled down at him gently. He pressed a kiss to Sunggyu’s lips before saying, “Sorry.”

“What for?”

“For getting jealous,” Woohyun admitted, refusing to meet Sunggyu’s eyes. “It’s just… you spend every weekend with him.”

Sunggyu stared at him thoughtfully for a moment. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize how much time it was until you pointed it out.”

“It’s fine.” Woohyun pressed another kiss against his lips. “Will you spend the night? Friday?”

“Sure,” Sunggyu replied, reaching forward to play with the hem of Woohyun’s shirt from where he sat straddled on his lap. “It’s a date.”

Woohyun laughed and kissed him again.

Later that evening, after he had returned home, Sunggyu stared blankly at the piece of paper in front of him. He had filled out every form and all that was left to do was sign, so why couldn’t he?

It wasn’t a certainty yet. There was still time.

He couldn’t shake off the nagging sense of guilt as he signed his name and sealed the envelope. He dropped it into the mailbox and lit a cigarette.

It was a wonder his mother and sister hadn’t noticed yet. Half his clothes smelled like smoke by now, but so did the rest of the apartment. He eventually stopped filching boxes from his sister and had begun to buy his own. He went to a different shop each time, and always lied and said they were for his mother or sister. He wasn’t sure why. He shivered as he blew another puff of smoke.

He knew he had to tell Woohyun, but he didn’t want to. It would be okay, he thought, to let himself enjoy this period of relative peace for a little while longer. Everything would be okay.

He would spend more time with Woohyun, and they would both be okay.

Sunggyu asked Yongguk to meet him the next evening outside of the convenience store on the outskirts of town. He pulled up in his beat up white van half an hour late. The name of his band was spraypainted on the side with some overwrought design that was harsh on the eyes. He hopped out and clasped Sunggyu’s hand, pulling him in for a quick hug.

“How are you?” he asked, pulling back to inspect him. Sunggyu knew he didn’t look great. His hair was a mess and there were dark circles under his eyes, but if Yongguk noticed, he didn’t comment on it.

“I’m fine, man,” Sunggyu replied, offering him a cigarette from the pack he’d bought as he waited. Yongguk happily obliged. Sunggyu was quiet for a moment before he said, “Look, I--I want to stop meeting up so much.”

Yongguk’s brows raised. “Oh? Any particular reason?”

“I want to spend more time with my friends here before graduation,” Sunggyu muttered. The excuse sounded lame in his ears, but no one else knew about him and Woohyun besides Sungjong, so it would have to do.

Yongguk looked at him quietly. “You don’t think you’ll see them after graduation?”

Sunggyu didn’t respond. He flicked the end of his cigarette and stared at the dying ember that fell from the tip. Instead, he asked, “How did you decide to quit school, even if it wasn’t what anyone else wanted for you?”

Yongguk stared across the empty parking lot thoughtfully for a moment. “I think that in the end, I realized the decision was mine and mine alone to make.” He took another drag of the cigarette before continuing, “In the end, my only duty is to myself.”

Sunggyu sighed. He leaned back against the brick wall and slid down until he was crouched on the cold, hard ground. “What if you have a duty to do right by someone else? What if I--I mean you--what if you didn’t want to leave them behind?”

“I don’t know,” Yongguk hummed thoughtfully. He slid down the wall until he was crouched next to Sunggyu. “Maybe I’m just selfish, but I still think I owe it to myself to chase after what I want. Besides, I’m only eighteen. Now is the only time I can afford to be selfish.”

“And you think it’s alright to be selfish?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. He flicked the cigarette butt to the ground and snuffed it out with his shoe. “I do. When we die, what else is there? We take that last journey alone, Gyu. You have to live a life worth living.”

Sunggyu snorted. “You’re so fucking pretentious.”

Yongguk barked out a laugh. “That’s rich coming from you,” he said, nudging him with his shoulder. Sunggyu smiled and they both sat in thoughtful silence for a moment. “So you want to make the leap, but something’s holding you back?”

“Something,” Sunggyu said slowly, “Or someone.” Yongguk snickered, and Sunggyu shoved him hard as a light flush graced his cheeks. “I’m just saying, I feel like I owe it to that person to… I don’t know. Stay with them. Go where they go.”

“And you think that’s what love is?,” Yongguk asked, brows raised. “You don’t stay with someone because you feel like you owe it to them,” he said, “You follow them because you want to, because your lives are like parallel lines, heading in the same direction.”

Sunggyu tilted his head thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure Yongguk was entirely right, but he wasn’t very sure of anything at the moment. After a moment Yongguk spoke again. “So have you come to a decision?”

Sunggyu stared across the parking lot, into the darkness of the street ahead. He felt the wind blow cold around him as the neon  _ Open _ sign flickered above them. “No. I don’t know. Maybe.”

Maybe, he thought. There were a lot of possibilities held in a ‘maybe.’

Results arrived in early December. Sunggyu’s hand shook as he pulled the letter from the mailbox. He had convinced himself it didn’t matter, but that wasn’t quite the truth. After all this time, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of unwavering anticipation as he tore open the envelope.

His results were good. There was no denying that. But they weren’t great. He would get into schools, no doubt about that, but paying for them was another matter. He jumped when his phone rang, and picked it up when he saw it was Woohyun.

“How did you do?” Woohyun asked nervously.

Sunggyu tightened his grip on the phone. “Fine. I did well. You?”

Sunggyu shifted nervously on his feet as Woohyun was silent for a moment. Then, he asked, “Can you come over?”

“Sure. Of course,” Sunggyu replied automatically, already grabbing his bag. “I’m leaving now.”

He was panting by the time he reached Woohyun’s house, his breaths forming small puffs of white clouds in the chilly December air. When Woohyun answered the door, he seemed alright, but Sunggyu was cautious as they made their way to the kitchen.

The letter was lying open on the counter. Sunggyu tore his eyes from it and looked up at Woohyun. “How did you do?”

Woohyun sighed. He reached for a glass in the cabinet above him. “Fine,” he replied over the hiss of the faucet as he poured himself a glass of water, “Okay. I’ll get into a local school at least.”

Sunggyu’s shoulders sagged in relief. “That’s great, Woohyun.”

“Let me see your score,” Woohyun said, ignoring him. Sunggyu reluctantly handed over the envelope he had shoved in his back pocket before leaving the apartment.

Woohyun’s expression was unreadable as he scanned the letter. “This is great,” Woohyun said, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You could go to a university in Seoul, even, if you wanted to.”

Sunggyu swallowed, his throat dry. “Woohyun--”

“I’m happy for you,” Woohyun said, setting the paper down on the counter, “Really.” Sunggyu stepped forward and pulled Woohyun close. He let Woohyun’s head rest against his shoulder as he smoothed down his hair. Woohyun’s voice was a bit rough when he said, “Now all that’s left is to pick which schools to apply to.”

Sunggyu’s throat tightened. He should tell him. He needed to tell him. Instead, all he could say was, “Yeah.”

It wasn’t the right time, he told himself. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Woohyun was hurting. It wasn’t fair; he wasn’t even a bad student, and Sunggyu knew better than anyone how hard he had studied. He deserved to go to any school he wanted.

They stood like that for a while in the cold kitchen of Woohyun’s home, both wanting to speak, but neither knowing how. They convinced themselves it was enough, in that moment, to simply be there for each other, not admitting that convincing oneself was just another form of lying. Outside the window, the first snowflakes began to fall.

It was just before New Year’s when Sunggyu arrived at his apartment one day to see Sungjong squatting outside his door, his head hung low enough to obscure his face. His shoulders were hunched, and Sunggyu wasn’t quite sure how long he had been there.

“Sungjongie? What are you doing here?” he asked slowly.

Sungjong sniffled and wiped at his nose. Without looking up, he replied, “Can I come inside?”

“Of course,” Sunggyu said, quickly taking out his key to unlock the door. Sungjong pushed past him inside and shrugged off his jacket. He lay it across the back of the couch and took a seat. “What’s wrong?”

“I--” His words stuck in his throat. Sungjong stared at his fingers and didn’t look up as he felt the couch dip beside him. Sunggyu hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder. Sungjong sighed. “It’s Myungsoo.”

“Did you confess?” Sunggyu asked, suddenly nervous that his advice had backfired.

“No,” Sungjong laughed bitterly. He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. “He--he got a girlfriend.”

“Oh.  _ Oh. _ ” Sunggyu quickly wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Jjongie.”

“He--he brought her over after class. I had to pretend to be happy for them.” Sungjong sniffled. “I’m so stupid.” Sunggyu felt his throat constrict at the way his voice cracked. “I’m so,  _ so  _ stupid.”

“You’re not.”

“I  _ am _ ,” he said, sniffling loudly. “I should have--I should have said something.”

Sunggyu didn’t know what to say. Sungjong was so obviously hurting and only barely holding himself together. He pulled him closer so that his face was buried in his shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

“It hurts,” Sungjong cried. He began to sob. “It hurts so fucking much.”

“I know,” Sunggyu murmured, letting him soak his shirt in tears. “I know it does.”

They sat like that for a while. Sunggyu let Sungjong cry his pain into a dull ache, and gave him a thousand meaningless platitudes.  _ I’m sorry it hurts. It’s going to be okay. _ Maybe that was true in some far off future, but at that moment things were not okay, and things did hurt, and nothing could heal him except for time.

When Sungjong’s sobs finally died down to whimpers, then to weak sniffles, Sunggyu walked him back to his apartment.

He stopped in front of his door. “You’re going to be okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Sungjong said quietly. He patted Sunggyu’s shoulder in thanks, and opened the door.

“I’ll be here,” Sunggyu said, “tomorrow, before you leave for class.”

Sungjong smiled at him. “Thanks, Sunggyu.”

Sunggyu smiled at him softly and waved goodbye. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he climbed the stairs to his floor. His shoulders felt heavy, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep, but somehow he already knew sleep would not come to him easily that night.

He was sprawled across the couch, texting Woohyun, when his mother arrived home late that night. He mumbled a welcome home as she shuffled through the door and grunted when a letter was thrown on his chest.

“This came for you,” his mother said, draping her coat around the back of the couch. “Mind telling me what it is?”

Sunggyu picked up the envelope and stared at the sender. It said it was from the Enlistment Offices of the Republic of Korea Army. Sunggyu gulped.

He shakily opened the envelope to read the acceptance of his enlistment. His mother tapped her foot impatiently on the floor as she waited for him to speak. “This is--Uh…”

“When were you planning on telling me,  _ your mother _ , that you were going to enlist?” When she finally spoke her voice was like ice, and it chilled Sunggyu to his very core. He bravely tried to continue on.

“I was going to tell you about it when I was accepted,” he said quietly, head bowed, “I didn’t want to cause trouble over nothing.”

“This is nothing?” She snapped. She jerked the letter and its contents from Sunggyu’s hands. “ _ This _ right here is  _ nothing _ ?”

“Mom, it’s not--”

“It’s not what, Sunggyu? Not a big deal?” Sunggyu winced as her voice rose. “How long ago did you apply? How long have you been lying to me?”

Sunggyu felt his blood begin to boil at the barrage of accusatory questions. “I applied just before my results came back. It was my own choice.”

“Sunggyu,” she paused to pinch the bridge of her nose, “What about university? Everything you’ve been working for?”

Sunggyu clenched his fist at that. He pushed himself off the couch. “I can go after my two years are up!”

“You can go  _ now _ !”

“I don’t want to go now!” Sunggyu shouted. His heart clenched at the sight of his mother’s shocked face. “I just… don’t want to go.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Her voice had gone dangerously quiet.

“I’m saying,” Sunggyu paused to take a breath. He stood up from the couch to face her. “I don’t want to go to college. I never have.” 

His mother scoffed. “Do you even realize what you’re saying? What are you going to do then? Wait tables for the rest of your life?”

Sunggyu felt stung by her words. His heart hurt as he mumbled, “I want to play music.”

“I have tried to be patient,” she said, sighing. Sunggyu flinched at the tone of her voice. “But I can’t support this. I’m not going to watch you miss out on a university education and work yourself to the bone doing manual labor for--for fucking pocket change for the rest of your life like me. I won’t.”

“Mom--”

_ Crack. _

Sunggyu stumbled as he felt the force of her palm hit his cheek. He held a hand up to it in shock, wincing at the pain.

“If you aren’t going to go to college to get a proper job, then don’t bother coming home.” Her voice cracked at the last word, and Sunggyu felt his heart constrict.

“Please don’t do this,” he said. He clenched and unclenched his eyes to stop tears from falling.

“Just think about it,” his mother pleaded, “please just think about your future.”

Sunggyu felt numb. He was stupid, so stupid. Somehow he had deluded himself into thinking there was a choice, a way to get everything he wanted without also hurting the ones he loved. Instead of responding, he brushed past his mother and into his bedroom. He buried himself beneath the covers, but as he had thought, sleep would not come.

Hours later, he heard the door quietly click open.

“Gyu?” It was his sister’s voice. He heard her walk next to his bed and place a hand on his shoulder. “Are you awake?”

Sunggyu pointedly kept his eyes closed. She sighed. “I’m sorry about mom.” When she received no response, she continued. “You know she just cares about you. You were always the smartest out of all of us. She wants you to have a better life, like me.” She laughed bitterly. “Well, I guess you can see how well that turned out.”

She was silent for a moment, and Sunggyu thought she was done speaking until she said, “When your enlistment is over, if you need a place to stay I know people in Seoul.”

Sunggyu’s heart twisted in his chest. His sister got up and crawled into her own bed on the other side of the room. A single tear leaked out of his eye, and when morning came, he wasn’t quite sure if he had gotten any sleep at all.

It was hard to pretend like everything was normal at school, but at least he had Sungjong to distract him. Being with Woohyun and knowing that he would have to tell him soon was overwhelming, so he began to sneak away to eat lunch in the library.

Woohyun noticed something was wrong with him, and he was starting to worry. Every lunch period, he would try to stop Sunggyu before he slipped out of the classroom, and every time Sunggyu would evade him. It was making him uneasy.

At last, Woohyun trapped him by the school gates. He had to sprint to catch up with him, and when he was finally able to grab Sunggyu’s wrist to stop him, he was out of breath.

“Woohyun? What’s wrong?” Sunggyu asked, brows raised. He waited for Woohyun to catch his breath.

“Are you avoiding me?” he panted, “I feel like you’re avoiding me.”

Sunggyu slowly slid his wrist from Woohyun’s grasp and took a step back. “What? No, I--I’ve just been busy.”

“Then it’s fine if I come over today?”

Sunggyu eyed him warily. “You’ve never been to my apartment before.”

“I know,” Woohyun replied, sliding an arm around Sunggyu’s shoulders, “That’s why I want to see it at least once before graduation.”

Sunggyu hesitantly followed along as Woohyun guided him down the street he knew Sunggyu usually took to go home. “It’s not really anything you want to see.”

“On the contrary,” Woohyun said, “I’ve been dying to see it since we first met.”

“Fine,” Sunggyu mumbled in defeat. Woohyun tried and failed to hide his triumphant grin.

On their way to Sunggyu’s apartment, Woohyun watched the way Sunggyu threw his head back in laughter at something he had said and realized that he had  _ missed _ Sunggyu in a way that he’d never missed a person before. He was only eighteen, but he couldn’t imagine a future without Sunggyu there, by his side. It seemed like such a sure thing, that Sunggyu would always be there no matter what else changed.

His chest still felt warm as they climbed the steps to Sunggyu’s apartment on one of the upper floors. Woohyun wrinkled his nose at the ancient carpeting that lined the hallway. Some of the stains had probably been there since before he was born. He heard Sunggyu rattle the doorknob as he unlocked it, and eventually he was able to push the door open.

“Home sweet home,” Sunggyu muttered. He led Woohyun into what could only be described as a rather drab, dull living area, but Woohyun somehow loved it. It reminded him of Sunggyu, the way his guitar leaned against the wall and the smell of cigarettes that clung to every fabric in the room.

Woohyun slowly made his way past the beaten up table that was being used simultaneously as a desk and dining table and into the kitchen. Sunggyu rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, as Woohyun checked out the out-of-date appliances. “You’ve seen where I live now, so can we just go back to your house, or--”

“What’s this?” Sunggyu froze as Woohyun picked up the enlistment letter he’d left on the counter.

“That’s--Uh, that is--”

“Notice of enlistment?” Woohyun read slowly, brows furrowing as he scanned the rest of the page. “Are you enlisting?” Woohyun didn’t need a confirmation. The way Sunggyu bowed his head in shame told him enough. He felt his hand unconsciously ball into a fist, crumpling the paper. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Sunggyu gave him a pained look. “Of course, Hyun, I--”

“How long?” Sunggyu fell silent. “How long have you known?”

“Before New Year’s,” Sunggyu whispered. Woohyun took in a sharp breath.

“Before New Year’s?” He could feel his voice rising to dangerous volumes, but couldn’t find a way to stop it--or simply didn’t care enough to try. “It’s the middle of fucking January, Gyu. We graduate in a  _ month _ .”

“I know,” Sunggyu pleaded, “I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t find the right time.”

Woohyun scoffed. “So you haven’t applied to any schools? At all?”

Sunggyu looked miserably down at his feet. “I’m sorry, Hyun.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” Woohyun groaned. He collapsed into one of the chairs at the kitchen table and pinched the bridge of his nose. “We can still fix this.”

“What--”

“I’ll enlist too,” Woohyun continued, lost in his own thoughts and plans, “That way we can decide together what to do when we get out. I can just defer my decision, and… Are you even listening?”

Sunggyu stared at him in disbelief. “You… you want to enlist with me?”

“Of course I do,” Woohyun said, finally looking at his face. He felt his heart beat nervously in his chest. “I just didn’t plan on doing it so quickly. I thought we would do it together after graduating college.”

“I--Woohyun, I--” Sunggyu struggled to pick a phrasing that would cause the least hurt. “I don’t want you to enlist with me.”

Sunggyu winced at the way Woohyun’s face fell. He felt something shatter between them. “What?”

“I mean, I don’t want you to change your plans because of me,” Sunggyu said quickly, trying to pick up the pieces before things fell apart, “It’s not fair to you, and--and I don’t know if I want that. I don’t know what I’m going to do after this.”

“You don’t know what--What the hell is there aside from going to college?” Woohyun cried. He was hurt. He hurt so fucking bad, and Sunggyu was fighting him every step of the goddamn way.

Sunggyu looked downward, dejected. He had hoped, foolishly and against reason, that Woohyun might understand him. He mumbled, “I want to play music.”

“You can do that at school!” Woohyun shouted, standing up again. “You can study music! You don’t have to waste your future like this, Gyu!”

“I want to  _ play _ music, not study it in some stuffy classroom.” Sunggyu’s voice was deadly silence to Woohyun’s loudness. He was an ice cold chill against Woohyun’s fiery passion. “Is that what I’m doing? Wasting my future doing something I love?”

“You love  _ me _ ,” Woohyun cried, “Why can’t you just choose to be with  _ me _ ?”

Sunggyu’s quietness finally reached its limit. He could feel the control slipping away as he yelled, “Why do I have to choose?!”

“Because that’s how life works, Sunggyu! You fucking lied to me,” Woohyun spat, “Do you know how much that hurts?”

“I’m sorry,” Sunggyu pleaded.

“Did you ever think about us?” he asked, voice growing dangerous, “Was there even one moment when you looked past graduation and saw us still together?”

“Don’t--”

Don’t. Woohyun heard the warning in it.  _ Don’t say that, don’t do that, it’s not fair, you can’t ask that of me-- _

Woohyun was tired.

“You’re so fucking selfish,” he said, fists clenching at his side. He let the anger wash over him in waves, let it take control, put words in his mouth.

“I’m selfish? Fuck you,” Sunggyu snarled, “You’re the one forcing me to do what you want to do.”

Woohyun’s voice went quiet. “I’m forcing you?”

They both stood there in silence, panting, their voices raw from shouting. Woohyun felt the anger bleed away from him until all he could feel was a cold numbness that spread from his chest to his fingertips. He smoothed out the letter that was still balled up in his hands and set it back down on the counter.

“I’m going to go,” he said quietly. Sunggyu groaned and tried to stop him.

“Woohyun, please, just--”

“It’s okay, Sunggyu,” he mumbled. He opened the door and looked back at Sunggyu. He hadn’t noticed before, but he had lost weight. His uniform hung loosely on his shoulders, and he almost seemed like a small child in that moment. “I just need to think for a bit. I still love you.”

Sunggyu nodded, throat tight. He bit his lip harshly as Woohyun closed the door behind himself. The silence in the apartment was deafening. He wanted to cry out, scream, anything, but he wouldn’t allow himself. He wouldn’t give Woohyun, the world, the satisfaction of it.

Woohyun angrily scuffed his shoe on the pavement, sending a small pebble flying into the street. His chest felt crushed, like he couldn’t breathe, and every time he thought of Sunggyu it got worse. Sunggyu. 

_ Sunggyu Sunggyu Sunggyu _ .

What had he done wrong? Why was Sunggyu pushing him away? These were the questions that Woohyun tortured himself with, each one driving a stake deeper and deeper into his heart. He had thought they were on the same page this whole time, but since when had Sunggyu been thinking this? He felt betrayed. He knew it was irrational, that Sunggyu would never do that, but he felt as if he were the butt of some joke. Once again, he was being left behind and he was the only one who seemed bothered by it.

As he approached his house, his anger slowly ebbed, and in the end, Woohyun could only feel an aching regret that was pulling him ever harder back to Sunggyu’s apartment. It wasn’t Sunggyu’s fault. Woohyun didn’t entirely believe it was his fault either, and sometimes, he reasoned, perhaps it was nobody’s fault at all.

He wanted to apologize, but something he might have called pride forbid him from going back and doing so in person. Pride, and common sense, since any more face to face confrontation between them was likely to lead directly back to anger.

In the end, Woohyun texted Sunggyu a simple apology when he reached home and swore that he would make up with Sunggyu the next day. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be. He didn’t know what, but there had to be  _ something _ he could do to stop Sunggyu from going.

The next day at school was awkward, to say the least. The uncomfortable silence that had settled between them hung in the air like a thick fog, and even Hoya and Dongwoo could sense something was up. When the bell rang for lunch, Woohyun grabbed Sunggyu’s hand before he could protest, and dragged him to a hidden corner of the school, tucked away underneath a mostly neglected staircase.

“Are you crazy?!” Sunggyu hissed, “What the hell? Hoya and Dongwoo saw that!”

“I don’t care,” Woohyun said. He stared at Sunggyu seriously before sighing.

Sunggyu’s gaze softened. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t--” Woohyun began. He took a breath and tried again. “I don’t want us to be like…  _ this _ . I hate it.”

Sunggyu looked down at his shoes. “I know.”

“I just want to pretend like yesterday never happened,” Woohyun said, voice cracking. He grabbed Sunggyu’s hand. “Can’t we do that?”

Sunggyu gave a pained expression. “Woohyun--”

“Please, Gyu.” Woohyun pressed Sunggyu’s palm against his rapidly beating heart. He lowered his voice. “I love you. I can’t--I can’t do this thing where we stay mad at each other.”

Sunggyu inhaled sharply. Woohyun wasn’t sure if he was just imagining things when Sunggyu’s lower lip wobbled. He felt his own throat grow tighter. Sunggyu looked down again and nodded. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay, fine, let’s just--let’s just put it behind us.”

“I love you,” Woohyun said. He glanced around the stairwell quickly before leaning in quickly to kiss him. Sunggyu shoved him back.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! We’re in school!”

Woohyun laughed at the flush that had spread from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears. He reached forward and tucked a piece of Sunggyu’s hair behind his ear. “Come back to my place after school?”

“Fine,” Sunggyu muttered, backing away. “Let’s just go back to class.”

Woohyun grinned as he followed Sunggyu back up the stairs to their classroom. Hoya gave him a quizzical look and Dongwoo simply shrugged. He was just happy they seemed to be back to normal.

An uneasy truce had settled between them. Sunggyu could sense the frailty of it, so he resolved to make things right on Woohyun’s birthday. He didn’t have money, but he had love, and some time, so he did the next best thing to pouring his soul into a bottle--he wrote him a song.

He was sitting on the cramped twin bed in his bedroom one evening when his sister stumbled through the door.

“Gyu!” she shouted, pulling him into a sloppy hug and planting a kiss on his head. Her breath stank like whiskey. “I missed my baby brother  _ sooooo _ much.”

“Ugh, get off!” Sunggyu shoved her gently to her side of the room.

She flopped down on her bed and kicked her heels of, each of them hitting the door frame with a  _ thunk _ . She sighed. “I just got back from a date.”

“I can tell,” Sunggyu replied without looking up. It was better to just ignore her when she was this drunk.

“He’s very nice.” Her voice was slurred. She turned onto her side to get a better look at Sunggyu. “He’s nothing like you.”

Sunggyu smiled as he scanned over the sheet music. “It’d be weird if you dated someone like your little brother.”

“He’s nice.”

“You said that.”

She lifted up her hand to begin listing off his good qualities. “He treats me well.”

“Good, I don’t think I can take him in a fight.”

“And most importantly,” she sighed, “he makes a lot of money.” Sunggyu snorted in laughter at that. She grimaced in horror. “Oh, God, I’m turning into Mom.”

Sunggyu burst into laughter at the image; God, he could see it. Ten years from now she’d be tying her messy hair into a bun and nagging at anyone and everyone. She groaned and turned over on the bed. “Stop laughing!”

“Fine, okay!” Sunggyu said, trying to stifle his giggles.

She was still turned away from him when she said, “This isn’t where I thought I’d be.”

Sunggyu’s ears perked up at that. He looked at her on the bed as she curled inward on herself, as if by curling into a ball she could somehow protect herself from the outside world. “What did you say?”

“This isn’t… what I wanted.” Her voice was quiet. Sunggyu began to panic when he heard a sniffle. She continued, “I wanted my own apartment in Seoul, you know?”

Sunggyu nodded slowly. “You always said that. One that overlooked the city, and you’d hang--”

“Christmas lights,” she finished, “so it would always feel like a holiday.” Sunggyu swallowed dryly. “What am I doing here?” she asked wistfully. “I’m stuck, and I don’t know how to get unstuck.”

Sunggyu didn’t have an answer for her, so he didn’t respond. They sat there in silence for a moment, and Sunggyu thought she might have fallen asleep until she said quietly, “Don’t get stuck, Gyu. Live a life worth living. Promise me.”

Sunggyu inhaled sharply. Something in his throat burned as he responded. “Okay, I promise.”

He stared hard at the scraps of sheet music on the bed, before balling them up and throwing them in the bin by the door. He started over again.

The day of Woohyun’s birthday, he surprised him by showing up at his house with his ancient, beat-up bike and his guitar.

“Sunggyu? What’s this?” Woohyun asked, shrugging on his jacket as he stepped out the door. It was nearly sunset, and it would only get colder as nightfall approached.

Sunggyu’s nose was pink, though from embarrassment or the cold Woohyun couldn’t tell. “Your birthday present. Hop on.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Woohyun said gently, smiling as he climbed onto the bike behind him. He carefully wrapped his hands around his waist, but it was made awkward by the guitar case on Sunggyu’s back.

Sunggyu grunted as he began pedaling. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing that special.”

They rode the bike all the way to the nature trail that ran through the outskirts of town and up the small mountain that overlooked the city. They arrived at dusk. Sunggyu parked his bike and they climbed the rest of the way on foot. They didn’t go all the way to the end; rather, Sunggyu grabbed Woohyun’s arm gently to stop him.

“This way,” Sunggyu said, pulling him slightly off the trail. They broke through the brush to a clearing on a ledge that overlooked the entire town. Woohyun stared in awe at the twinkling lights of the city below. “My sister used to take me here as a kid,” Sunggyu explained, “It’s been a while, but it’s nice to know it’s still accessible.”

“This is amazing, Gyu,” Woohyun said, taking a seat by the ledge. Sunggyu eyed him nervously before hesitantly taking a seat. Woohyun laughed. “Oh right, you’re scared of heights.”

“Shut up,” Sunggyu growled, “It’s just dangerous, that’s all.”

Sunggyu paled as Woohyun nudged his shoulder with his own. “It’ll be fine you big baby.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you forever,” Sunggyu muttered.

“Wow,” Woohyun sighed, collapsing to lay on his back on the grass, “You want to be with me forever? How romantic.”

Sunggyu rolled his eyes and ignored him. He pulled out his guitar and prayed to god his guitar case had insulated it enough from the cold. It seemed to be fine upon first inspection, so Sunggyu began to tune.

Woohyun closed his eyes and listened as Sunggyu carefully adjusted the strings. If they stayed out much longer their faces would become numb, but his chest felt warm again, as warm as the summer in which he had come to love Sunggyu.

He pushed himself up when Sunggyu cleared his throat. Sunggyu plucked at a string nervously. “You can’t laugh, okay?”

Woohyun smiled at him tenderly. “Of course I won’t.”

Sunggyu gave him a small smile and began to play. There were no words yet, just Sunggyu, humming a simple melody that lodged itself somewhere in Woohyun’s heart, but words weren’t needed. Sunggyu knew Woohyun would understand, and when he did, Woohyun’s throat grew tight and his eyes began to burn at the realization. It was an  _ I love you _ .

It was a goodbye.

There was never any chance of Sunggyu changing his mind, was there? Woohyun never stood a chance. People don’t change that easily.

Sunggyu felt his own chest constrict as Woohyun’s eyes grew wet, but he kept on playing. He wanted this to stay with Woohyun. Not the fighting, not the cold distance that had settled between them, not the ways they had hurt each other just because they could. This.

When the song was over, Woohyun furiously brushed away a tear that had escaped down his cheek. Sunggyu smiled sadly. “I have another present.”

“What’s that?” Woohyun asked, his lips tugging unconsciously into a half-smile.

Sunggyu secured his guitar back into its case and took out the sparklers from the side pocket. “I thought you’d like these,” he said, trying to shrug nonchalantly, “They seem pretty stupid and romantic, like you.”

Woohyun laughed and took one from Sunggyu’s hand. Sunggyu dug in his pocket for his lighter. He ignored the pain in his thumb as it took him several tries to get it going in the freezing cold air, and when the flame caught on the end of his sparkler, he gently touched it to the tip of Woohyun’s until it burst to life too.

Sunggyu leaned against Woohyun’s shoulder as they watched the varying hues of gold and silver eat away at the wooden stick. When it reached the end, the crackling light died as quickly as it began, and they felt colder for the loss of it.

Woohyun felt Sunggyu shiver beside him and stood up. “It’s too cold to stay out. Let’s head home.”

Sunggyu nodded quietly and followed him back down the hill to where his bike was parked. They were quiet during the ride back, focusing on the way their breaths created small puffs of clouds and the stillness of the world around them.

Woohyun’s house was still dark when they returned. His father would not be home, but Woohyun no longer cared. No, maybe that wasn’t true. But he told himself that anyway because the hurt of it confused him, left him breathless and weak. He unlocked the door and quietly let Sunggyu inside.

They made their way to the kitchen. Woohyun flipped on the dim overhead light and turned to face him. “I can’t stop you, can I?”

Sunggyu’s throat burned. “Woohyun--”

“Do you want to break up?”

Time stopped.

Sunggyu’s throat went dry. His chest hurt because Woohyun had figured him out, however ugly the phrase may sound.

Woohyun smiled sadly. “Okay, Sunggyu. Okay. Fine.”

“Woohyun, I’m sorry--”

“No,” he said, voice cracking. “Please don’t say you’re sorry. Let’s just--let’s stop pretending.”

Woohyun was tired.

Tired of lying to himself, to Sunggyu, tired of pretending everything was going to be alright. It was not alright. It wouldn’t be. He was tired of waiting for Sunggyu to love him the way that he loved Sunggyu.

He leaned back against the counter. “You don’t want to be with me.”

“That’s not--” Sunggyu tried desperately to find the right words. “Don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s true,” Woohyun sighed. “So, what happens now?”

Sunggyu looked at him sadly. “I want to stop feeling like I’m not enough all the time.”

Woohyun looked up and saw, finally  _ saw _ Sunggyu. Tired, and defeated, crushed under the weights of expectations he wasn’t ready to meet. The bags under his eyes said  _ this was not how things were meant to be _ . Yes, it was his fault, but it was Woohyun’s fault too. Sometimes, Woohyun realized, it was everyone’s fault.

“You can stay the night if you want.”

Sunggyu followed Woohyun quietly up the stairs. He didn’t know why he stayed, but it was cold out, and something in the quietness of Woohyun’s voice told him to. Something inside himself told him to.

When they got to his room, without turning around Woohyun said, “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it, but when I woke up today, you were still my--” Woohyun choked on the word and swallowed dryly. “I’d like to fall asleep that way too. Just until morning.”

Though Woohyun couldn’t see it, Sunggyu nodded and shrugged off his coat. He undressed down to his t-shirt and underwear and crawled into bed with him. He felt the warmth of Woohyun’s arms as they wrapped around him and pulled him towards his chest.

They stayed like that, for a long while, until Sunggyu felt Woohyun’s breaths even out. But sleep would not come to him. He gently pried himself from Woohyun’s grasp and silently padded to the bathroom. He scrubbed his face with water and looked at himself in the mirror.

Sunggyu jumped as the door opened. Woohyun looked at him with an indecipherable expression. “Until the sun rises, you’re mine.”

Sunggyu nodded. His voice cracked when he said, “I don’t want to go.”

Woohyun pinned him against the sink with a kiss. It was harsh, and heavy, and unlike anything Sunggyu had ever felt before. He gasped as Woohyun bit his neck, too choked up to tell him not to leave any marks. Maybe he wanted him to.

He wrapped his arms around Woohyun’s neck and pulled him closer. Woohyun responded by lifting him up until his legs wrapped around his waist. Sunggyu grunted as his back hit the bathroom wall, and again as Woohyun threw him hungrily on the bed, climbing on top of him and pinning his wrists to the mattress.

Sex with Woohyun had always  _ meant _ something. Sunggyu wondered what this time meant. Maybe it meant something he wasn’t yet able to understand.

He felt the wetness of Woohyun’s tears soak his shirt in the short time before it was ripped off. It was okay. He would let Woohyun touch him, kiss him, take whatever he needed, because it could never be enough. It would never be enough to take back what was said in the kitchen, because it was too late.

Woohyun sobbed Sunggyu’s name as he came. Sunggyu cradled his head against his shoulder. His fingers combed through messy hair, holding him as close as he could, because dawn was coming whether they liked it or not.

His eyes burned, but the tears would not come.

Sunggyu awoke to a dim blue light filtering through the blinds on the window in Woohyun’s room. He quietly extracted himself from Woohyun’s grasp and got dressed, taking care not to make the floorboards creak.

When Woohyun woke, the bed was cold. He lay there for a while, too numb to move, before he pushed himself up and out of bed. The dawn broke golden over the small town as a new day began.

With hardly more than a week left until graduation, it was depressingly easy for Sunggyu to avoid Woohyun. It wasn’t that they had left things unfriendly, but it hurt to see him and Sunggyu could see how much Woohyun hurt too.

So they hung out with their own friends.

It was the last day of school before graduation, and Sunggyu was to enlist hardly a week later. He was walking home with Sungjong, who was chattering away about something a classmate had done. He didn’t even notice when he had stopped speaking. Sungjong sighed. “You know, I’m glad I liked Myungsoo-hyung.”

Sunggyu jerked his head up. “What?”

“I’m glad I liked him,” Sungjong repeated. He kicked a small piece of gravel with his shoe.

Sunggyu smiled ruefully. “Why?”

“Because I was happy for a while,” Sungjong said quietly, “And no one can take that time away from me.” Sunggyu stared down at the sidewalk. “It hurt for so long. It still does, but I don’t regret it.”

“I’m proud of you, Jjongie,” Sunggyu smiled sadly. They walked a few blocks farther before Sunggyu spoke again. “I still love him.”

“I know,” Sungjong said, looking at him softly.

“That’s what hurts so bad, I can’t--” Sunggyu sighed. “I can’t hate him.”

“Hating him would be easier,” Sungjong said slowly, “but it’ll be worth it in the end.”

They walked in silence for another moment. “It’ll stop hurting for you too,” Sungjong said. Sunggyu looked at him in surprise. “One day. And you’ll only have good memories.”

Sunggyu looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. “I hope so.”

Sungjong turned the corner that lead to the cram school, and Sunggyu waved goodbye. He decided to take the long way home.

He spread his memories of Woohyun across the surface of his mind like photographs, each capturing a specific moment. He thought about them in pieces. Sunggyu wondered where they went wrong. Could he pinpoint a moment when their fallout had become irreversible?

Maybe this was their inevitability. From the moment they had met in that stuffy practice room this had been the unavoidable conclusion of their time spent together. It was their story, the culmination of all the things they’d wanted to say, but never tried, and all stories had an end.

Sunggyu walked until his lungs were burning in the cold air, and then he walked some more. He didn’t have a particular destination, so he was surprised when his feet brought him to the convenience store by Woohyun’s house. He made to turn around and head home, but a shout in the distance stopped him.

“Sunggyu!” It was Woohyun. He was waving an arm to stop him, so Sunggyu stood still. “Thanks for waiting up,” he panted. Sunggyu waited for him to catch his breath. “What are you doing all the way over here?”

“Uh--I--” Sunggyu stuttered, unsure how to answer the question. He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “I don’t really know.”

“Oh,” Woohyun said. He looked at Sunggyu seriously for a moment before smiling. “Well it’s a good thing you’re here.” Woohyun stuck out his hand. “I just wanted to wish you luck.”

Sunggyu reached out and shook it, his fingers perhaps lingering for longer than they should have. “Thanks, Hyun. You too. I know you’ll do great at school.”

“Thanks,” Woohyun grinned. He shoved his hand back into his pocket and rocked back and forth on his feet. “Well, I should get going.”

“Oh, right,” Sunggyu replied. He took a step back and waved awkwardly.

Woohyun waved back, and turned around to walk back to his house. Sunggyu watched his retreating form until he could no longer be seen. He turned and stared down the street that led home. He kept walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry. Reunion will come!!!!! ...Eventually. I have plans for a long, ongoing fic for a different fandom, but once I've posted a few chapters of that, I'm going to come back to this. I have, like, half a plot planned out already for part 3, so it should be fun to see where that takes me :> Anyway, sorry for the long author's note and sorry for the emotional torture, but I kind of love this trope? I once read a break up fic that changed my whole life so consider this an homage AHAHA


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